• Get job.
• Study (I really should be studying at this exact moment)
• Get drivers license
• Practice driving so I don't fail miserably.
• Come up some better goals than 'get job'.
• Somehow gather the motivatiion to even go to school let alone complete the above list.

• Stomp. THIS WILL BE AWESOME
• High School Musical on Ice. >_> This I'm not sure baout. He said he has a surprise on the 25th and he bought tickets for it. And we're wearing red and white. I'm half hoping I'm right and half not. Because that would be bloody hilarious. But then I would have to actually watch High School Musical on Ice. ON ICE. Hahahaha.
• Monster Truck Rally. Oh yes.
• Bloc Party with Hot Hot Heat. YAY

I don't really feel like writing on livejournal anymore. It's kind of egotistical in a way. Because really, you're writing for everyone else to read and whatnot. It's not for yourself.
But sometimes it's good to write things and get feedback.
And I still can't make up my mind on anything. Hahaha. Maybe I'm destined to always have different points of views on one subject.
It seems that way.

Halo is shutting down it's Friday Mod Nights. I am distraught. Like for real. That was only place I liked to go.
Every other bar in Edmonton makes me sick. They all play the same crappy music. Where else am I going to be able to dance to The Beatles? No where, that's where. I will now write a TRIBUTE to all the good memories at Halo. Cry cry cry. Okay not a tribute. A list of memories. But I can pretend that it is a tribute. What is a tribute anyway? How does one write one? Could this be a tribute in a way?

• Saying to Kat 'Hold on a moment' and going to sit at a table with 12 men and introducing my self by saying 'Devon, like the town.' and proceeding to get made fun of like crazy.
• Kat meeting Tim. Going for a 'talk' with Tim. Getting mouth raped by Tim. Seeing Tim several times after and having to reintroduce (well not really) herself because he's so cracked out that he doesn't rememeber her. 5 times! 
• Meeting Rudy Roman. ♥
• Getting harassed epically by Mark. Seeing him try to start something with the asians only to have all of them pounce into stances that resembled the Outsiders getting ready for a brawl. Intimidating.
• Kat distracting Tim with her feminine wiles while I put his crutches in te girls bathroom. Apparently that weasel has a lot of fans because some unsuspecting female got them back for him. Obviously he hadn't tried to escort her to Sex Town.
• Cassandra (Rudy1's ex girlfriend) being at Halo and calling me a whore quite loudly as I walked away from her. Rudy proceeds to tell her off in an adult fashion which I enjoyed. She then proceeds to tell Rudy to 'watch out because Devon sleeps around' which I did not enjoy.

And the NUMBER ONE best thing ever that happened at Halo...

• Kat gets punched in the face by a fat native girl who had just spilled her drink all over Kat. Not many people can say that they got punched in the face. Or at least people that I know...  

All the drama happened to us at one of the least craziest bars in Edmonton. Shit never goes down there. Until we came along. *epic theme music* That's right. We are B.A.  And now I'm just typing for the sake of typing. Type type type.

Oh. p.s.
I'm in love with Rudy Roman.

Although in the back of my mind I have reservations. I always feel like I'm wating for the bottom to fall out. If that's the expression. 

Also this was a schizo post.

Oh my God I am so completely drained lately.
I'm not even doing anything that requires effort. I hate being tired all the time. Rar.

I had an interview at Planet Organic and it went fairly well. Better than the last time when I blurted out these gems:
"MY FRIEND IS VEGAN"
and
"My mom sells...a variety ...of organic items..."
I have a THIRD interview scheduled for Tuesday. Holy crap this is an oddly intense process. They obviously think really highly of themselves. It's a bloody grocery store. I really want the job though.

And I got invited to go to the waterpark. By some dude. He's getting some friends together. I sort of am considering not going just because I'd show up by myself and I just don't know if I'm up to being social. I don't know if I'd fit in with his friends. So hopefully the plan falls through or something.

Yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay.
I'm so happy that tonight I not only only got to witness a great person and politician be elected as president but a monumental moment in history.
Although, the fact that Obama is the first black president in America was something I have barely though about.  What I was most focused on (and what everyone should be most focused on) are his campaign, goals, and values. He is truly an amazing person and I have high hopes that he will bring about great change in America and the planet really.

HOORAY. NO MORE WAR.  

So cute. I want to go trick or treating this year. Bahahaa.

Some people think that it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.
I seem to have hard time with that.
Although it's getting better! It takes time though. I think. I wouldn't know. I've never been 'dumped'.
Hopefully it takes time. I think I'l just never talk to him again and all will be well. And I don't talk to Lihz anymore so really I can just shed all of that.
If I look at it in a positive way then.. I'm free. From drama. And Lihz and Cassandra and all that shit.

Now there are only two things that I'm upset about now:
Not being able to go to Manhunt. Wah. It was the best part of my week.
Not dating an Adam Brody look-a-like. Sometimes I'm shallow... >_>

And that is all I care about. And soon I will not care about those as well!

I would really like to go to Calgary this weekend. I think I will. Yes I've just decided. Off to Calgary. Yey.

I have to stop wanting what I want in the way I want it.

At least that's what my horoscope told me.

:D

I miss Rudy.

Oh and by the way guys. (Nick and Josh)
Let's be honest.
It's not like we EVER hang out anymore.  So I consider you guys friends but not like friends that I spend time with.
That's why I feel so alone.
That doesn't mean I wouldn't want to hang out with you guys though.  
 

This is the worst Thanksgiving ever.
Rudy broke up with me
I don't blame him. We're just not right for each other.
I am really very sad though.
Because we still had alot of fun and I did care for him.
And now because I'm alone.
Extremely.
I actually have no one now.

My mom's house is nice.
It's clean and smells like pumpkin.
Quite the opposite from my dad's house which is disgustingly dirty and smells like fish and sweat.
Which is a gross smell.
Can't wait to move into to my own apartment!
I will bleach the walls every day and it will smell like candy apples!
Or perhaps curry if I live with Josh. Hahaha stereotypes.

I had the most vivid dream last night. I never have vivid dreams. It was a weird one too.
It started at Toys R Us and I was with my cousin and he picked out a Kelly doll and a horse and a Littlest Petshop set that cost over $100 dollars. Then when went to my house and the Jonas Brothers were staying with us for some reason. And I made out with the middle aged one, Joe Jonas (who was very arrogant in my dream, the bastard), in the kitchen. And then we went to the airport but they stopped Joe because they wanted to look through his suitcases. They took him away and suddenly I was in a room with his brothers, the twins from the Suite Life of Zack and Cody, and some other randoms.

I never remeber my dreams.

Holy crap I actually had a good time at orientation.
Wowow I did so many things by myself.
Which to most 18 year olds would be nothing but not for me because usually my parents do EVERYHTING.
I actually felt very independant and in control of my own life for once.
I paid for my tuition and got my i.d. and fixed my email account and wow I sound so lame right now. Hahaha...
And i tried out for the choir. i knew I probably wouldn't make it but I knew I would regret not trying.
I almost shit myself. I don't know how people can sing in front of large audiences. I was only singing in front of one old lady!
I wonder how the acutal classes are going to be. Very intriguedddd.

Today I walked in a scary part of where I live all by myself. I usually pass by and think 'Wow I would never want to walk alone on this street ever."
Thank god it was like 5 pm only and daylight.
But yeah I walked all the way from the Royal Alex hospital to my house on like 111th ave.
It wasn't bad at all.


 

I'm shocked.

I am usually smart.

I am never drinking again.

I don't really know what to do with myself. I am spending all my spare moments on the computer to avoid thinking about reality. 
So I'm going to type this update about my mom because it easier than talking in person and everyone that I wish to inform is on here anyway. (Kat and Blair mostly. I miss you guys by the way.)  

And I just wrote it and thought I'd rather just send it to Blair and Kat in a message.

I am quitting my job!
My last day is the 18th. Crazyness. I feel happy and sad that I'm leaving. I like my co-workers. Kind of. I like the atmosphere and the cray drunken hobo experiences more. And I will definitely miss talking to the cool whyte ave regulars that come in.
But I need a break. My cousin is coming here for a month! And I really want to spend time with him.
I just need a break most of all. I guess I just had one. But Europe wasn't exactly a break when you go to bed at 1 or 2 am and get up at 7 every day. 
Lately I've been feeling like...I want to punch customers in the face. More and more as each day goes by.
So really this is in everyones best interest. It's for the safety of the world.
I really should have written that in my two weeks notice letter
Rudyyy is a bum. I think I just like having a boyfriend and not actually him. 
Actually. I think I just want my boyfriends to act like Cory. And that is sad. Sad in the pathetically ironic way. 
Well not the crazy part of Cory. Just like the very unselfish and like undying love part.  
If Cory had a car he would pick me up from work in an instant. But apparently it's too out of the way for Rudy.
Wow 15 minutes.
It's hard though. To break up with people.
I wish I could text message break up.
That would be so much easier.
You are the weakest link, goodbye.
And that would be it.  
I miss Lihz which is weird. We weren't even firends for that long.
And she was a shitty friend.

Why does my dad insist on ruining special occasions? Last Christmas, last Fathers Day, and now this.
He is such an unhappy man. He harbors all of his anger and sadness and like holds on to it with a death grip.
It's unfortunate. If only he'd let it all go.
And he smokes weed, you'd think he'd be a little more relaxed.
But no. 

Breaking up is hard. I'm not very good at it it seems.
All anyone has to do in repsonse is be like 'Um no." 
And I can't really keep the momentum up after that. 
I think I really need to though. This relationship is actually hard on me lately. I can't deal with him being best friends with his ex-girlfriend. 
I know they're just friends and they haven't done anything but it's not the same as if he had a guy best friend. Or even just a girl best friend who he had not had an intimate relationship with.
It's different. 
They are just way too close. It's like he has two girlfriends almost. And I'm the one that's liked less. 
They went on a fucking week long road trip to Vancouver.
http://photos-b.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v291/164/94/523785370/n523785370_3085393_7503.jpg
See? Very close.
I know they haven't done anything but arg..I'm just not okay with it for some reason.
It makes me feel inadequate I think.
Which sucks. 
 
I need a few outside opinions.

So Europe was crazy.
It was awesome.
A month and a half in Europe with 52 random people.
52 random party people I might add.
I've never partied so much in one month. I passed out with clothes on 5 times.
Slept with my contacts in twice which I NEVER do.
And a whole bunch of other crazy things that must not be mentioned.
An interesting experience...
I definitely want to back there again when I'm not with a crazy tour. 
The best places were Paris, Dubrovnik, Austria, Switzerland, and Greece.
I have way too many memories and stories to write.
There's no way to write or even voice all of it in a simple and compressed way. 
It would take hours to say and pages upon pages of writing. 
I LOVE TRAVELING.
Next is Australia and New Zealand!!!

Dear place in which I reside, 
You have had snow for the past three days non-stop.
Usually I would care but I don't because I am leaving you. 
Sorry to inform you this way but this is how it must be.
I've found a place much more satisfactory than you will ever be. 
Places actually. Yes, plural. More than one. 
A different place for every night almost. 
I won't miss you. Try not to miss me. 
Frankly,
Me.

"Open your eyes show you’re not dead

Dead like the memories we still share

But you’d rather that they were with someone else instead

Don’t expect too much

when you see me I’m ashamed
and every inch of my face you touched you also erased

You think you’re so in love

You don’t know what love means

And if you came close you’d probably end up running for the sea" 



But the thing about feelings is they change. 
And I hate that they change. 


On a happier note:
I GOT SWEET NEW SUITCASES FOR EUROPE. 
Are normal people excited for suitcases?
Well they're my favorite color.
Bright blue.
Maybe I'll take pictures and you can all be excited by their greatness.

It really is. 
The crazy band-aid lady came into the store today apparently.
I didn't see her.
I never do. She's like some rare bird to me. I always want to catch sight of her yet I never do. Elusive. 
Hahahaha oh god. This is what my job has done to me. It has made me a crazy-watcher. 
That's my new hobby. Spotting and observing all the crazies that come in. 

Rudy came over to my Uncles house for dinner last night.
It was....interesting. To say the least. 
My dad and my uncle burst into the song 'Ruby" by the Kaiser Cheifs every time Rudy walked by.
Except they sang 'Rudy rudy rudy....' instead. Obviously. 
It's a good thing I don't get easily embarassed anymore. 
 
I want Mini Eggs.

Well the Boy has come up with a solution.
We shall not make out for the next 4 times we hang out.
That is fine.
It was all him anyway. >_>
<_<
>_>

Went to West Edmonton Mall for six hours today and I never want to go there ever again.
I never find anything I like.
I hate all clothes.
Perhaps I will become a nudist and live on a nudist farm....colony....whatever. 
That seems the easiest way to go about life. 

Like honestly. I don't know how I get myself into these situations lately.
My life is so odd and completely different right now.
A person I know just wrote this blog and I think it describes what going on with  me so I'm going to copy and paste:
"I believe as an individual I'm finally reaching that turn point,
that "change" I needed perhaps..
I think that this may be what I've been looking for,
I'm sorta wondering about this change. I'm wondering:
What's going to happen now?
This isn't one of those "I've had an epiphany!!!" blog entries.
Actually far from, really.
Mostly I think that the next turn of events is going to greatly effect my current life.
I'm just not sure how exactly, or if it's going to be for the positive or negative.
I've got a lot of important decisions that I'm going to need to make."  

I am going through a change. I'm becoming someone different. I don't know if i'm just changing around my new friends and staying the same with my old or if I'm changing with everyone. I also don't know if it's positive or negative. On the positive side, I am way more outgoing and sociable than I was. On the negative side, I'm doing things that some may find immorale. Nothing horrible. Just things that I wouldn't have done last year. Things that aren't typically 'me'. But I guess I still don't know who me is. And the reason I'm letting myself do these things (not even doing things exactly. But I'm letting people go on thinking that I'm something I'm not.) is just to gain a differtent perspective maybe. To see what it's like to be something different. 

The other thing that is so WTFF right now is the Boy situation. I may as well just write this all out since i'm on a roll now anyway. I kissed him at a party. I had a boyfriend at the time. I know shame shame. I do feel bad about doing that to him. That was what the 'why am i so retarded' post was about. Well we have hung out since then. I really really like him. He says he likes me too. I never knew what everyone was talking about when they say people have 'chemistry' and whatnot. I do now though. It's crazy. It's weird. Sigh. So I wanted to take it extremely slow. Be friends first etc etc. But the third time we hung out we were having such an awesome time and really getting along and flirting and I just kissed him. Really out of character for me. I also had a beer and two shots. Another out of character thing for me. To drink. This is what I meant with the whole previous paragraph. So yeah that totally blew the whole 'friends' thing out of the water and we immediately just went to being really intimate and holding hands and all that mushy stuff. LIKE SO FAST. Like I just met him on thr 17th and we've hung out three times since then. And honestly. I don't mind it all really. The only thing that I don;t know what to call us.  We are basically...friends with benefits. And that's not something I want. And we kind of talked about it. And he said 'Wel lI've only met you 4 times so I can't really ask anything of you' OR SOMETHING. And I was like 'UMM K? O_o'. Because I am not exactly the most experienced with this. And it feels weird to be like close...wtihout being close if that makes sense. So I think we should just supress the horniness and be friends without the benefits. I'm just not sure how to say it. At all. God life and its emotions are confusing. Help?

Dear self:
Why are you retarded?
Sincerely,
Me. 

So I'm having a lunar eclipse party.
Yeah I'm that cool. 
I want it to be themed but all I can think of is Sailor Moon.
(We're totally going with that too.)
Also Moon Cakes, Dairy Queen ice cream cake with moon on it, and mangoes (because they are shaped...like..moons..Yeah that's pushing it) 
And I've found a few drinks that have the words moon and space in them so those should work.
Decorations will be pretty easy.
BUT WHAT ELSE?
Google is no help to me. Crycry. Help?
ANYWAY. I'm in driving lessons now. I'm so glad it's mostly older people. I was afraid it would be me and a bunch of 14 year olds.  
I hope I don't die on the road tomorrow.
That is all.
<(*_*<)